These are the words to a spoof version of the 1979 Gary Numan song Cars, which I’ll be performing at the Cycle Touring Festival, Coniston on 4 May 2024. It will follow my talk on 1970s touring in 2024 (my Way of the Roses done on a 1978 bike with only period kit).
I’ve rewritten the words of the song so it’s about bikes instead. It’s obviously much better now.
Here on my bike, I can go where I like
And I certainly will, if it isn’t uphill
On bikes
Here on my folder, if the weather gets colder,
And I feel like a wuss, I can go on the bus
On bikes
Here on my tourer, I am richer not poorer,
But the money I take, goes on coffee and cake
On bikes
On my e-bike I glide, and uphill I can ride
But it’s ever so large, and takes hours to charge
On bikes
Here on our tandem, we can wander at random
But it can be a pain, if we travel by train
On bikes
Here on my MTB, I am totally free
But I get rushes of blood, and get covered in mud
On bikes
