Another horoscope especially for cyclists.
Raleigh (20 Mar–20 Apr) Many taxi drivers actually have a soft spot for cyclists, as you find out when one runs you into a pile of builder’s sand on Southwark Bridge.
Brompton (21 Apr–20 May) A long thoughtful walk by yourself is often a good way to solve a problem. Unfortunately it won’t solve the problem of having had your front wheel nicked five miles from home.
Specialized (21 May–20 Jun) Part of you wants to play the Good Samaritan when you come across Jeremy Clarkson’s car stuck in a remote rural ford. However, you also have a good sense of humour, as well as a video camera and a YouTube account.
Kona (21 Jun–21 Jul) You’re always prepared to go the extra mile to get what you want. Just as well, as you’re looking for cycle parking outside the pub.
Scott (22 Jul –22 Aug) It’s time to stand up and be counted. Unfortunately what they’re counting is collision stats, and you can’t actually stand up any more.
Pashley (22 Aug–Sep) You’re prepared to take the rough with the smooth, but the surface on that stretch of National Cycle Route is just ridiculous.
Cannondale (20 Sep–21 Oct) Take everything with a pinch of salt this evening. You’ll need it, because the council gritters haven’t been out yet.
Thorn (22 Oct–21 Nov) After several months, Mars reappears today. You really must stop putting bars of chocolate in your pannier and forgetting about it.
Dawes (21 Nov–20 Dec) After years of study of Hampton Court’s hedge puzzle, maze-solving algorithms, and laboratory rat behaviour, you finally discover the solution to your council’s suggested ‘safe cycle route’.
Trek (21 Dec–20 Jan) As if being a witness to that bank robbery wasn’t traumatic enough, the actor playing you in the Crimewatch reconstruction is older and uglier than you are, and the bike rather better.
Giant (21 Jan–19 Feb) This is a good time to campaign for better bike facilities at workplaces, such as secure parking, showers and changing rooms. Because you’re now going to have unlimited time to do it, as you’ll discover when your sombre-looking boss calls you for a quiet word this afternoon.
Dahon (19 Feb–20 Mar) Be prepared to meet people halfway today. Tell the driver who just cut you up that they’re a tw and a wan.